Tormented by "Jewishness": Conversations with Two "Israeli" Friends. And A Message to those Who Claim "Not in my name".

At a party a couple of days ago (actually a couple of weeks ago now, as this one has been gestating in my drafts folder for a little while) I was sat between two “israelis”. - ie, two men born in what calls itself “israel” but is, in fact, occupied Palestine.

Having exchanged all appropriate pleasantries with Mo’or (how I imagine his name might be spelled) who I’ve known for a few years, and who I could see was incredibly stressed and needing to free himself from his pent-up frustrations, I decided to bring up the difficult subjects of Palestine, “israel” and Jewish identity rather than sit there in awkward silence, ignoring the cause of his stress and mine, or attempting pointless, empty conversation.

I asked him directly how he felt about Israel and Zionism given the bloody genocide of Gaza, and also how he felt about his Jewish identity. An intelligent and sensitive man, he was clearly just as pleased to have this conversation as was I, and engaged in it willingly.

I would describe Mo’or as a “non-zionist” rather than an “anti-zionist”. That is, he doesn’t want to deny the “Jewish people” a homeland, but he doesn't want to be party to what “israel” has become either. Equally, he’d rather not identify as “jewish” per se, but finds himself entangled in that identity by his entire family, by their history, by the “Jewishness” of his friends and relations.

For Mo’or, just to identify as a Living Man like any other, not to be trapped by some ego-identity, is his ideal and his desire. Yet his whole life, his wife and children, his wider family, his friends… all are deeply identified with their “Jewishness” and so, by extention, he feels trapped by this strange abstraction.

His, however, is a free spirit, and I have no doubt, no matter how difficult he may find the process, he will break free of that pernicious identity trap.

He told me, regarding the bloody awful genocide of Gaza, that he just wants to hide himself away, to turn his back on ‘israel’, and to have nothing to do with any of it. But of course he is concerned with the well-being of his family and friends who still live there!

Following our conversation, eyes alight, breathing free of the tightness in his chest, Mo’or smiled fully for the first time that evening, hugged me, thanked me - and hit the dancefloor to celebrate his part in the Divine Dance of Being! - Whilst I sat quietly for a moment, so very pleased and relieved to have found the courage to bring up the difficult subjects, that our encounter was not pointless and bland, as it could have been

My heart full with the freedom of Being, I turned to introduce myself to the man on my right, whose name I managed to pronounce, but not to recall. 🤔

I initially imagined he might be Palestinian, such was the depth of pain and trauma reflected in his eyes and face! When he told me he was from northern “israel”, near the (so-called, but undefined) boarder with Lebanon, I realised the source of much of that trauma possibly lay in the fact of his growing up in a conflict-zone.

I asked him how it had been for him to grow up in such a place. Unexpectedly, the first thing he noted was the culture of vengeance that exists within “israel”. - That being the main cause for his sense of not belonging. - A culture which he rejected for its hateful, self-pitying, divisive narcissism. (Ok, I may have put one or two words in his mouth there, but my intention is to express his feeling, as communicated via non-verbal cues, in my own words). - His rejection of “israel's” vindictive and vengeful culture became one of the primary reasons that he left that place and came to live in Portugal five or six years ago.

This man, who I now call friend, had such trauma written deep in his eyes, that I wondered aloud if he had some degree of PTSD.

He told me he felt the pain of his ‘Jewishness’ as if it was part of his DNA! - To his eternal credit, he listened attentively, and with dawning comprehension in his eyes as I described why that might be: Having been handed over by his parents, his ‘protectors’, as a tiny newborn baby of 8 days old, to strange men who then tore or cut the foreskin from his penis, inflicting upon him excruciating pain -alongside the betrayal of his parents - then to be tormented with tales of anti-Semitism, persecution, expulsion, progroms and “the Holocaust™” for the rest of his life, no wonder he carries such a heavy, traumatic burden!

The comprehension was there, but with a “but”, he told me of the deaths of his family members during the war, and that it was this that he felt. I reminded him of the deaths of 40 - 50 million others during that same war, and the deaths of my own family members. - He was taken aback; he’d never considered another perspective on the second world war before, nor the deaths of tens of millions of others. He’d not considered these things because “jewishness”, or so it seems, cares little about the suffering of others, and is almost exclusively focused in on itself.

A deeply confused, unmoored soul, he was intrigued as I told him about “former Israeli, former Jew”, Gilad Atzmon and the books he has written - The Wandering Who and Being in Time - which might help him make sense of his life, of ‘israel’ and of the nature of the ‘Jewishness’ which torments him. He made a note, checked the spelling, looked me in the eyes, touched his forehead to mine, thanked me for our conversation and, visibly lighter, with fewer lines creasing his brow, like Mo’or, he went on to enjoy the rest of the party.

I came home with hubby at a sensible hour (because I no longer have the stamina to party like I used to!) feeling happy and very close to God - which is to say, full of Love and gratitude.

So, what has the “Nation state of the Jews” turned out to be?

What is it that my two Israeli friends reject so fervently? - Arguably it is a physical manifestation of “Jewishness” itself. The same Jewishness that Israeli politicians claim their genocide of Gazans is in defence of. If ‘israel’ is not a manifestation of ‘Jewishness’, then what is it? What else can it be?

And what is the “Jewishness” manifest in the “nation state of the Jews” if not vindictive, self-serving, self-pitying, paranoid, fearful and murderous? - That’s not to say that you, dear Jewish reader, are in any way murderous, but that “Jewishness” is a murderous, genocidal and divisive identity from its very inception.

And because this aberration of “manifest Jewishness” in occupied Palestine lacks the power to support itself, it is artificially upheld by a hugely powerful euro-Jewish diaspora, in concert with a Godless Western ruling class.

Jewish Power - the power to control, via cohesion, blackmail, bribery, manipulation and deceit, not only all centres of power throughout the Western world, but massive economic power globally - as evidenced by the fact that despite an outpouring of heartfelt, well meaning rhetoric from the “global… ahm…community”, not a single finger is lifted in support of the Occupation and Genocide Resisteres in Palestine, Yemen, Lebanon and Iraq. - Jewish Power, as noted by Gilad Atzmon, is the power to deny the existence of Jewish Power. - This is why all criticism of powerful Jews, Zionism, Israel and Jewishness is labelled “anti-Semitic”, and punished as “jew-hate”, carrying with it the threat of a potential “Holocaust™”, albeit that the evidence for the original and only genocide in human history if the narrative is to be believed, the “Jewish Holocaust” is scant and unreliable*.

Throughout the westernised world today people who identify as “jewish”, some of whom are Judaite/Talmudic by religion, protest the ongoing slaughter of Palestinian children, men and women, and the destruction of their homes, using the slogan “not in my name”. Their intentions are laudable, and their actions are commendable. But they are overlooking the crucial and central fact that this genocide, ongoing since before the establishment - via murderous terrorism and the Nakba - of the of a “Jewish homeland” in Palestine, is being commited in the name of all Jews, in defence of “jewishness”!

The entire Zionist political movement was conceived as a means of preserving “jewishness” and reducing the “threat” to Jewishness of assimilation, following widespread Jewish emancipation throughout Europe.

Please forgive me for being so blunt, direct and so graphic, but…

This…

Is…

Being…

Done…

Literally…

In…

Your…

Name…

This is “Jewishness”!

Either you identify with that “Jewishness” - identify as somehow “unique”, “special”, “chosen”, and “separate” from the rest of mankind, deserving of some kind of special status because of your “unique suffering”, your “chosen identity” or your family history… Or you do not!

Either you recognise that all “identity” is ego-identity, and you find the strength and the courage to drop that identity and to live your life as naked and vulnerable as God created each of us, or, by your clinging ego and your fear, you tacitly endorse, despite your words to the contrary, the depravities of Zionism and its historic and contemporary blood-soaked “defense of jewishness”.

What is a “jew” after all?

It’s perfectly understandable that you say this Zionist genocide of Palestinians is not done in your name, not done in the name of “the jews”. Yet you offer no description of what is “a jew”. What is it that unites and holds you as some distinct “other”?

We know already that it is not a denotation of religious beliefs or practices, as many Jews are secular and atheist. It is not a single race or ethnicity, as Jews hale from Northern Europe to North Africa, from East to West Asia. It is not a discrete culture, unless it is a self-conscious culture of victimhood, fearfulness and paranoia - as these seem to be the only attributes of “Jewishness” that cross all other boundaries.

So what is it?

It is an idea, and that is all.

A supremacist notion of chosenness, of unique suffering and persecution, and an excuse to interfere in the political and social make-up of others in order to preserve that idea; in order to make the world “safe for jews” - for those who identify with that idea - by criminalising and marginalising and even genociding those who, with good reason, reject it.

Drop the ego, drop the identity, drop the idea of separation, and the whole world will become a whole lot safer and more beautiful for everyone! Not perfect, certainly, because we have other problems to address, but oh so much better simply by dropping such a divisive idea!

I know what I’m asking of you is hard! I know it through personal experience. But I also know the sheer Joy of Being without such ego-identities to twist us up and bring us down! We are all unique expressions of the Divine Creator of the All of Everything. Let that be enough! Drop everything else to know the Truth of that! This goes for all, not only for the “jewish” ego-identity.

Despite my harsh words and my direct challenge to your ego, I write with nothing but love, for no other reason than love, and so, if you have made it this far without turning away, you have my deep gratitud and respect.

May the conversations, difficult as they may be, continue!

With love,

Kali

~

*Regarding said “scant and unreliable” evidence for the holocaust, please see (really, please do take a look, including at the supplementary comments!):

https://amillionmarchtogaza.substack.com/p/the-anti-semitic-question